I Refuse.

I refuse to give up.
I refuse to let the devil win.
I refuse to give up the ground I've worked so hard to gain.
I refuse to let myself be weakened and prone to attack and failure.
I refuse to believe Satan's lies that I'm not good enough or spiritual enough.
I refuse to get lost in the fog.
I refuse to let the storm carry me away.
I refuse to fail myself, my family, and my church family.
I refuse to fail Jesus.
I refuse to have let Jesus die for me for nothing.
I refuse to believe that Jesus will not keep His word.
I refuse to give up praying for things so far uanswered.
I refuse to believe that His word is no longer relevant.
I refuse to believe that there is no black and white, only gray.

I refuse to place my life in any hands that aren't nail-scarred.


I wrote this in my journal last week. About three months ago I decided to get involved
in my church and ever since then it's been one thing after another. I had to work and miss church or go out of town... My life has been so busy that I've hardly kept my head on straight.

After service this morning, a brother was asking me if I'd joined the choir yet. I told him no, that I haven't had a chance to and told him how ever since I've wanted to get involved everything imaginable has come up to put it on hold. What he said to me really made me think....  He said, "Then you know it's the will of God. Stay strong and stay determined and the enemy will eventually back off. Satan knows you want to do something for the Lord.."

Sometimes I get distracted. We all do. We have jobs,  families, and commitments to keep. I knew in the midst of all this (it felt like I was in a huge, dense fog) that I couldn't give up, that eventually I would come out the other side victorious.  And now that the fog is starting to lift, I can look back and know that even though I was slowed down, the Lord will bless me for refusing to give up.