Don’t you just love those evenings when for some odd reason you have nothing that you have to do? You can stop and ask yourself the question, “What am I going to do tonight? Will I read a book? Should I listen to some music? What am I going to do?” Aren’t those rare occasions great?

Several years ago I remember having one of those nights. At that time they were very rare. We had all three of our children at home. We were pastoring two churches and had a daughter work also. Between those responsibilities, along with teaching Home Bible Studies, being the principal of a Christian School and trying to be a husband, father and a son, there were not a lot of evenings when I didn’t have something that was demanding my attention. On this particular evening, not only was it free, but I was home by myself, which meant I could pretty much do what I wanted to do.

I remember deciding I wanted to have someone preach to me. I felt I needed to be spiritually fed, I needed some input. I went to our preaching tape library and just grabbed a tape and put it in. I wasn’t really caring who I was going to listen to or what subject they would preach on, I just was going to relax and say, “Pour it on!” Then let whatever happened happen. Needless to say, God obviously had something totally different in mind!

I don’t believe there are any accidents with God. You might have an accident while driving. You might even have an accident in that you drop a glass of water. However, I don’t believe it is an accident when you hear a message that is from God and it makes a difference in your heart. I believe these are actually “divine appointments.” Times when God desires to mold and shape us into the person He wants us to be.

The message that I listened to that night was about “Forgiveness.” As the title was given and the message started I kind of sat back in my chair and thought, “Well there is no problem here, I will get some good information for a message. However, I don’t have anyone that I need to forgive.” Yet as the message began to unfold I began to get uncomfortable. So much for a night of relaxation! I began to get a good old case of conviction, to the point I had to ask God who I needed to forgive. I went down the list in my mind and couldn’t really think of anybody and so I told God that.

Can you imagine my shock when I felt God speak to me and tell me, “You have forgiven everyone else but you haven’t forgiven me?” My response was first shock and then it was horror. I quickly moved just in case fire came from heaven just for the thought that I might have something against God! As I began to converse with God about this He led me to understand that I had feelings that I was afraid to admit, because of disappointments and failures from my past. In my heart I felt that God had let me down and I had failed to forgive God. This started me to begin to study forgiveness. Let me share a few thoughts with you.

In Matthew chapter 18 Jesus likens the Kingdom of Heaven to a king who takes inventory. In doing so he finds there is a servant who owes him a large sum of money. The king sends for the man and asks to be paid. The servant explains he doesn’t have the money, we have all been there, but will do his best to raise it. The king feels the man has had enough time and commands that he, his wife and children all be thrown into prison. The servant falls on his knees and begs for mercy and the king is merciful. The king doesn’t give him more time, he completely forgives the servant of the debt that is owed. One writer says he canceled what was owed.

The servant leaves the kings court. He walks down the street and it reads as if he is on the prowl, looking for someone who owes him money. He finds a fellow servant who owes him a few dollars. He grabs the man and demands payment. The fellow servant says he also doesn’t have the money to pay the debt. Now the servant pays no heed to the promise of payment or the plea for mercy. He has the fellow servant thrown into prison for the owed debt. The amazing thing is the servant was forgiven ten thousand talents and he was owed only one hundred pence. In today’s money and I mean as of 9:11 PM Central Time on September 23, 2008, this man was owed $11,594.99 and he owed the king $3,580,532.19. He had been forgiven an incredible debt yet couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive a fellow servant a debt that was owed him.

There are a couple of things I would like to bring to our attention. It is obvious the king is likened unto God. It is also obvious that Jesus is talking about forgiving our brother when He is speaking of the two servants. Peter has asked Jesus how often a person is required to forgive someone who sins against them. Jesus said we are to forgive seventy times seven and then Jesus goes on to say the Kingdom of heaven is like a king and then tells the story. He ends by saying so likewise shall my heavenly Father do unto you.

The first thing we need to understand is God has forgiven a great debt that we owe. Each and every one of us owed Him a debt that we could have never paid. The only hope that we had was damnation. Yet God was merciful to each of us and forgave us that debt. He did not just give us time to try and figure out a way to pay it, He forgave it. That means He pardoned us. We were absolved from the debt. We have been exonerated or completely set free from what we owed. It is gone and forgotten.

On the flip side, we have been done wrong. We will have people do us wrong again. We will even feel if we are honest with ourselves that God hasn’t completely done right by us. Yet, no matter how big the wrong which someone does to us it will never compare to the debt we owe! The debt I owe is far greater than any and all debts owed to me. So, with this in mind, the key to feeling forgiveness is forgiving. I didn’t think this up, someone shared this with me and I put it into practice and it works.

Watch this! The servant is forgiven by the king. He is feeling good, in fact it seems as if he has found a new power in life in that when he finds the fellow servant he grabs him and demands payment of the debt owed to him. Now when he refuses to forgive the debt owed to him he is brought before the king a second time. The king reminds him of the mercy that is showed to him regarding his great debt. Then the king reinstates the debt and the Bible says he has the servant turned over to the tormenters. What had been forgiven was no longer forgiven because of the forgiven would not forgive.

When I fail or refuse to forgive then I lose the privilege of being forgiven. I come to an altar of repentance and confess my sins and feel God cleanse me of those sins. I am free! I feel so good and refreshed! Yet a day or so later, it may even be a week or so, I begin to deal with the same feelings of guilt, shame and condemnation. It is inner torment! Why? Because I have not forgiven those who I feel owe me, who have done me wrong.

In His pattern of prayer, Jesus prayed, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” If we don’t forgive, can God forgive us? It is a small price to pay for freedom, for peace. You see forgiveness is not an option. We must have it to live free from torment. We also must give it to live free from torment.

Forgiveness is not an option. Neither is it something we will only have to do one time. I have had to go to my knees many times and ask forgiveness and also forgive. I have had to seek the face of God for help in forgiving. I have had to forgive God and make sure things were right between me and God. I have had to forgive others who have knowingly and unknowingly hurt me. I have to make sure things are right between us. Yes, I have also had to forgive myself. I have hurt myself so many times. I have let myself down and disappointed myself many, many times. Yet, if I want peace in my heart and a relationship with my Savior, forgiveness is not an option it is something I must do!

God Bless!