"And she said, As the LORD thy God liveth, I have not a cake, but an handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse: and, behold, I am gathering two sticks, that I may go in and dress it for me and my son, that we may eat it, and die. And Elijah said unto her, Fear not; go and do as thou hast said: but make me thereof a little cake first, and bring it unto me, and after make for thee and for thy son. For thus saith the LORD God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the LORD sendeth rain upon the earth. And she went and did according to the saying of Elijah: and she, and he, and her house, did eat many days. And the barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the LORD, which he spake by Elijah.” 1Kings 17: 12-16

In May of 1988, I escaped the insanity of my exhusband with my children: Lindsay (5), Christian (3) and Julian (2 weeks). We ran from the home with the clothes on our backs. No ID. No diapers. No anything.

My uncle took us in and we were able to get a couple of changes of clothes from friends. I honestly can't remember how I was able to buy diapers...and I breastfed Julian, so that was free. The situation had knocked the air out of me. I struggled through postpartum healing. Looking back, I believe I was in shock.

Within a week, I was on my way to Ohio. My mother had opened her doors to me and said I could stay with her until I got healed up and on my feet. My dad offered to send me a little bit of money each week to cover diapers and food for the kids.

Julian was now 3 weeks old. He'd lost his umbilical cord...funny what a mother remembers.

I arrived at my mother's home and got as settled as possible. My mom was going to college and was gone most days. This made it easy to take care of the kids and calm down. I remember praying for each day. Asking the Lord to keep my milk coming in, allow my children to be safe and show me direction.

10 days later, I had gone to my friends house to visit and I received a phone call from my mother.

"Chris, I can't have you and the kids back in my house." she said. "I have to study and can't have ANY noise or it distracts me."

"What will I do?" I asked, my voice wavering. "What about my children-the baby?"

"I spoke to my psychologist and she said that I must take care of myself and studies. She's in full agreement with my decision."

"What about tonight? Can we stay tonight?"

"No. Stay at your friends house."

I was never allowed to return for even a night. No matter how desperate I was or how tired the babies were. My mother would not let me into her home.

I continued to pray and seek God each day for food and a place to sleep. Each day, He provided. Each night, I had a roof over our heads.

A record breaking heat wave and drought had swept over the Midwest that summer of '88. There were times when I'd take the kids to the grocery store and roam around, just to stay cool. Lindsay would nap in the basket of the cart, Christian in the seat leaning into a baby blanket and I would hold Julian and nurse him as I walked. If I had bus money, we'd go to a mall. Or, we'd go to a park and roast. I carried bread and peanut butter with me everywhere I went so the kids would always have SOMETHING to eat.

Finally, after weeks of wandering around and scrounging for a place to sleep, I'd gotten to the end of my rope. I was getting absolutely no where. I began to think the Lord was telling me that I wasn't a fit mother and had no business having children. I knew then, that I had to find parents that could take care of my children better than me. These were three of the most wonderful children in the world. They deserved wonderful parents.

I called several Apostolic churches. Only one Pastor called me back. I explained my situation and asked if he had anyone in his congregation that was trustworthy and would foster my children. He told me that he'd call me back shortly.

A few days later, the Pastor called and told me that a man had offered his camper for us to live in and we could stay on the church property until I was able to get my situation in order. That was July 1988. I praised the Lord and worshipped Him for keeping my children with me and providing a home! Lindsay turned 6 years old in that trailer.

In September, everything came together. My finances, my health and an apartment! Every minute, hour and day was a blessing from the Lord. Every THING was provided by Jesus. He never let me down.

I was in church this morning and the preaching was on “The Blessing and the Trial”. You can’t have one without the other. Then, I realized the date...exactly 20 years have passed. My children are grown and still growing. Some are married and some are in school. We have a life that can only be described as a blessing from the Lord. I'm married to a great guy who would cut off his hands before he ever raised one to me.

Over the years, my life has changed and I've changed.

God has NOT!

He is still my provider. He is still the sweetest Savior and Lord that He ever was. He's still my dearest friend! And, I will love Him forever...