Bonnie Peacock and her husband attend the First United Pentecostal Church in Odessa, Texas. Terry Pugh is their pastor. She is a freelance writer for various Christian publications. She also self-publishes The Pastor's PIT Crew for her local church and "First" Ladies which is sent to the ministers' wives of the Texico District and both Foreign and Home Missionaries. A catastrophe reared its ugly head over my peaceful existence. I prayed. I ignored it, but it would not go away. I pondered my dilemma, sought for answers, and consulted an expert in this field. The problem persisted.
My prayers seemed to go nowhere. The predicament was expensive. It was time consuming and depleting. Its presence loomed over my days and haunted my nights. Why? What did I do wrong? How do I fix it? Am I missing something?
Tears were shed. Over and over, I sought the Lord. I pleaded the blood. I “bound” the situation and “loosed” victory, just as I had been taught. I spoke the Word of God over my circumstances and rebuked it in the name of Jesus. I exercised my faith, skipped a few meals, and declared words of dominion and power.
One day, while on my knees, I asked God, “How am I supposed to pray? I don’t even know what to say!” I had done everything that I knew to do, and instead of improving, the difficulty escalated.
Almost as soon as I blurted out my frustration, I realized for the first time, in a long time, I was at peace. A feeling of assurance enveloped me. I had inadvertently stumbled on the key I had been seeking. Often God answers prayer quickly, but, on occasion, He has a reason for withholding His involvement.
I realized I had been trying to take care of the problem within myself. Although I had applied all the correct biblical formulas, I had missed something important. God’s principles do work; however, He does not perform on cue. He is not a vending machine where I can insert a few coins and press the correct button for my selection.
Indeed, I had been doing all the right things, but my motives and attitude were not as submitted to God’s sovereign authority as I would have liked to believe. My confidence had been in my own knowledge of the Bible, relationship with the Lord, and past experience with Him – I thought that I had Him figured out.
I am never in control. I continue to learn and relearn this truth. I forget it on occasion, and God is faithful to remind me. As I walk with Him, I have to stay pliable, submitted to His will. My prayer must always be, “Lord, teach me to pray” (Luke 11:1).
In every situation I need to humbly seek His face (2 Chronicles 7:14). His will and timing has to be preeminent. When I place my cares and problems into His hands, He reveals to me how to pray, what I should do, and when.
Past formulas and good ideas won’t suffice, for I have never walked this way before. When I get past my personal agenda and become honest and open before God, He gives me glimpses of what He is doing. I begin to see things from His perspective.
More is going on than what I first realize. I may think that the problem is simply my discouraged spouse, a health issue, or financial difficulty, but God is working on more than my perceived “problem.” He is working on me.
No matter how many years I live for God, I must never feel I have “arrived.” I have to remain teachable, allowing God to further mold me, adjust me, shape me, and make me. It is all about Him! I need to continually forget everything I think I know.
Dependent upon Him for all I need, once again I fall on my knees. “Lord, teach me to pray!”