Two Sundays ago, I was talking to an acquaintance at church and I shared my recent good news, that I had gotten a job, in my field, after a year lay off. In my excitement I exclaimed, how I had even managed to arrange a ride to and from work with three different people, as my vehicle had died on me. This person shared in my joy.
 
That same Sunday, I went to an Elder at alter call, because my usual prayer partner was ministering to someone else. I was absolutely hesitant to approach the Elder because, I needed to confess, a long buried secret of mine.  In my life, I have been through a lot, and as a child, young woman and as an adult, as year after year came and went, I grew up learning to hate men, I hated the way they treated me, their critical nature, the hurt and pain, verbal abuse, mental abuse, dysfunctional, and abusive natures. I grew up thinking I was not favored, unloved, and sought more and more to find the love like women read in a romance novel. That false love is not out there. The one true love is that of Jesus, our Savior. I know Jesus, loves me, that through everything, I have been through; God was with me every step of the way. Jesus was with me, when I felt abandoned and unloved. God loved me, when I was sick with thyroid disease, gaining over 100 lbs, losing my hair, and numerous medical problems from it. God was with me when my husband abandoned me for liquor and crack. God was with me when my home was foreclosed on, God was with me when my daughter went through a horrible custody battle, God was with me when I lost my job, God was with me when, I had to give up my rental home, and move back home with my parents, God was with me when my car engine blew up and I no longer had a car, God kept me out of harms way when I was attacked physically. God was with me when I became sick and had allergic reaction to medications given at the hospital and I literally thought I was loosing my mind. Night after night, I had psychotic dreams, so horrifying, I will not repeat. God was with me. I truly believe God, put Cindy Brunson in my path, it is not strange that when I was at my weakest, she would call and lift me up, and when I was in my darkest hour, thinking, I was loosing my mind, I cried out to Jesus, and I heard him say I am with you,, call Cindy , and I did, When i told her what I was experiencing, she prayed , on me , over me as an anointed saint of God, God used her, and she brought me through, standing in the Gap for me. She is a wonderful Saint of God! Then on the Sunday, I mentioned above, God showed me what I was hiding, the hate that I had not let go of, I remember looking at my Elder, and absolutely did not want to approach him, and I heard God tell me to go forward, I could trust him. God has brought me through a lot. I had to trust God, and believe, that the Elder , would be able to help me pray about this situation. I trusted God first, then God told me to trust the Elder and confess my hate for men, which I did. Then the following Sunday, the elder had a word for me, and then the Pastor and the Elder prayed for me. I studied the word the elder gave me and read the word, and sought God,, what happened after service that Sunday.(Please read Below Highlighted area) After studying and praying God gave me two scriptures, that was a first for me. Ester 2:11 and Malachi 3:10
In Ester it was revealed to me that God is with me daily. God is concerned for me. Esters identity was hidden until a time for it to be revealed by God. (Still thinking on the last one, and how that pertains to me) In Malachi, it is a command for me to obey, to bring all my tithes into the storehouse, as I must act first, so God can act. God just blessed me with my new job, and tithing has been a weakness of mine, wanting to give, but never feeling I had any to give as I had more going out than coming in, during this time. So I believed I needed to step forward in the supernatural, trust God, pay my tithes, so he can in turn bless me, which I feel like was a life lesson I learned after my elder gave me a word with my pastors ok..

After being led by prayer and getting a word from God on Malachi 3:10, I promised to start tithing according to what I heard God tell me to give, and in prayer I promised God, the amount I heard, then that following Friday Night, on the way home from work, my sister and i stopped at store, because traffic was stopped up and, I needed a restroom having got sick on the way home, When I came out, my sister was at the register buying cloths, and handed me a bag, saying here these are for you. God reminded me years ago, how you helped me with cloths when i started my career, and i was told to bless you! I was overcome, and told the manger how my sister was so sweet, how she was helping get to work, and my sister, laughed and jokingly said, after a month you are on your own. I replied, that's ok that is when God will give me a car, God just gave me this job, and my car is coming next, Then later that night before I could give the church my tithing, I received a phone call from someone who attends my church. Those persons, who I only know in greeting, knew I didn't have a vehicle, due to me joyfully stating the week before, how I had a new job, after a year lay off, and that I had arranged rides to get me back and forth to work. The person wanted to know if I was interested in their vehicle, and gave me an indebt description, after several minutes, I said I was interested and asked what amount were they selling the vehicle. The person chuckled and stated "no, you do not understand, we do not want to sell it, we want to give it to you. I WAS SPEECHLESS!!!  
 
The next day on Sunday (which was last week), I meet the person in church and gave them a card for their kind gesture, and I was informed that something was wrong with the vehicle, and, I laughed and said "No, the vehicle is fine, Satan is trying to steal my blessing and everything will be fine, the person wanted to put it in the shop to be sure, all was ok. I joyfully gave my tithing plus a gift. Then the following Sunday, after being told the vehicle was fine, arrangements were made to pick me up on Monday and carry me to the DMV. I took out an insurance policy, and when we got to DMV, we had to leave and have the car inspected (extra expense), then we went back to DMV, and God blessed me again, the persons would not let me pay for anything, The party had paid for the inspection, taxes, tags, and license plate. We walked out and I was handed the key, we put on the plate and I drove away in a 1995 Dodge that was absolutely given to me by God. My elder was right, God was teaching me to trust him. God never left me, and he has provided for me through it all, and I know that I am loved, and a worthy person. God has released me from a lifelong bondage of hate toward men. I am free. At the same time God taught me a little at a time to trust him, and when my faith was built up, he blessed me. I can hardly contain my excitement to see how God moves next. All the praise and glory I give to God. And to my Pastor, elders, and Cindy, and all those who prayed for me I say thank you for you care concern and prayers. God Bless!