Spiritually, I will be 4 years old on September 17th 2009. I compare myself with the Isrealites that wandered the desert for 40 years since I was about 40 before God saved me. He was my "long lost friend" and there is so much that I want to learn and so much I want to share. I pray that God can use me to feed others just as he uses and sends so many people to "feed me". I want to write, think, speak and breathe anything that will win souls for the kingdom of God. I got offended the other day at church.
I know, it's hard to believe but it's true. In fact, I could probably step out and say that I have offended others. I often half jokingly refer to myself as a "repeat offender". I don't believe that anyone purposely sets out to offend anyone, by word or deed, thought turned into action, it just happens.
I had left the church 13 years ago, the last time I got offended. When God drew me back, and I was filled with His Spirit I made a promise to Him that nothing or no one would offend me so badly that I would leave again.
And since that day, satan has worked overtime trying to get me to cancel my agreement.
This last one stung the most.
I was driving to work, tears filling my eyes, thoughts of this person filling my mind in a bad way and I remembered something an elder had told me, "Pray specifically". So I did. I prayed, "Lord, don't let this seed of anger and hurt grow.. kill it where it lies".
Now I'd like to say in the place of the hurt/anger came this overwhelming oasis of love for this person. That did not happen.{yet} But the seed, miraculously died that morning on my way to work, and I knew it was gone and I thanked God for answering my prayer.
I learned a great lesson that day about praying specifically and removing the log from my own eye.
I have not been in this very long but I have to believe that the desire to please God pleases God. And it IS my desire to kill all of those seeds that start before they can grow in me;
... the seed of anger must die
... the seed of gossip must die
....the seed of self pity must die
....the seed of pride must die.
...the seed of contention must die.
...the seed of complacency must die.
...the seed of a judgemental attitude must die.
I know there are more but as I clear out the seeds that don't belong, I pray that the Spirit of the Lord can find more room to grow in me.